Tea Anyone?
by The life of a girl
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki receives a strange note from Kisuke Urahara, telling him to visit him for tea. What happens when Mayuri slips something into Ichigo's tea? Now Ichigo is a girl and he has no idea what to do! Can Ichigo survive being a girl? How will he continue his soul reaper duties? Warning: Yaoi/language. Pairings yet to be decided. You guys tell me who you prefer!
1. Chapter 1

Ichigo frowned, cautiously opening the door to Kisuke's shop. He was being as mysterious as always-Kisuke that is. It had only been a little while before when Ichigo had received a rather rude awakening.

_The only sound in Ichigo's room was his even breathing and small movements as he shifted in his sleep. _

_A sudden smashing of glass forced Ichigo up quickly, flying out of bed, poised for attack._

_When no-one tried to smash his skull in, Ichigo began to relax, going over to his window, fingers gently fluttering over the hole in it._

_Cold air whistled in and Ichigo frowned, glancing around for the object that had been thrown in._

_His eyes finally fell upon his wardrobe and the strange red substance that was slowly sliding down it._

_Ichigo scowled in realisation. Kisuke Urahara. He was the only one crazy enough to do something so stupid. Plus, he'd done it once before, when they first went to find Rukia._

_That man was seriously asking for death._

_Narrowing his eyes he approached as words began to appear._

Ichigo! I would like to invite you for tea, tomorrow at ten. I have something really cool to tell you.

P.S. If you still think this looks like a message of someone who is about to die, then it's clear your sense of humour isn't any better.

_Ichigo cussed, ripping his pillow from his bed and throwing it at the message. When he got to him, that hat and clogs bastard would die!_

Ichigo shuddered in rage at the mere memory of it and he clenched and unclenched his fist. It was going _straight _into that cocky bastards face as soon as he saw him.

"Ah, Ichigo, you're here."

_Speak of the devil. _"Kisuke," Ichigo growled out, smiling viciously. "Do you know how long it took me to get the writing off last time?"

Kisuke flicked his fan up, eyes hidden under the brim of his white and green hat but Ichigo could imagine his sweetly innocent expression as he said, "What writing?"

Ichigo elbowed the man in the face as he stalked past, going to the table to wait. "Let's get on with it shall we?"

"Yes," Kisuke moaned out, holding his nose to stem the bleeding. "Let's."

XXX

Settling down, Ichigo placed his hands on his thighs impatiently, scowling when Kisuke sat down. "So, what the hell did you want to talk about?" He continued on in irritation, "And why the hell couldn't you have just called me? Or maybe come and found me?"

Kisuke frowned. "Well, where would be the fun in that?" He grinned when Ichigo's scowl deepened, hiding his enjoyment behind his fan.

"Why you would lower yourself to live in this hovel of a place, I don't know," sounded a dreadfully familiar voice and both Ichigo and Kisuke looked up as Mayuri Kurotsuchi walked through the door, followed by Nemu.

Ichigo's eyes widened and he glanced between Kisuke and Mayuri. "Why are you here?"

Mayuri glared at the boy as he settled down, waving Nemu away. "Still as rude as ever I see, substitute." He heaved a sigh however, and continued, "I wanted to ask you a few questions. For my research you see."

"There's no way I'm answering any questions for you," Ichigo snapped, staring at the painted captain uneasily, hating the way those yellow eyes seemed to be dissecting him. "I don't want to become one of your _research _subjects."

Mayuri huffed indignantly before snapping out, "Nemu, get me some tea." Content when he saw Nemu springing into action, he settled slightly, taking the time to watch the boy. He opened his mouth to speak before Kisuke spoke up.

"I'm here to make sure nothing happens Ichigo. He only wants to ask some questions, about the Fullbrings," he assured the boy seriously.

Ichigo shifted, glancing at the man before scratching his spikey, orange locks in hesitation. "What about them?"

"How do you use them, what the power felt like, how you developed it, that sort of thing," Mayuri chatted excitedly.

Apprehensive, Ichigo glanced once more at the grey eyed man before nodding to Mayuri. "Fine, ask."

"Here Captain, your tea." Nemu bowed, placing the tea down, closing her green eyes before standing once again and passing some tea to Ichigo and Kisuke and retreating once again.

Mayuri watched Ichigo as he sipped his tea before he asked, "Now Kurosaki, how do you feel?"

Ichigo froze, the cup poised in his hand, almost at caramel lips once again. "What the hell do you mean?" Quickly he thrust the cup away, standing up as he stared down at the spilled liquid.

"What's in that?" Ichigo demanded.

"Yes Mayuri, what _is _in that tea?"

Mayuri glanced at the deadly calm man, taking in the steel in his tone. "Nothing _bad _Kisuke. It was only a little something that would-"

Ichigo cried out in pain, doubling over, clutching his stomach before glaring up at Mayuri. "Stop it!"

Mayuri frowned a little, taking Ichigo's cup, holding it to his nose. "Nemu," he roared, throwing the small item at his cowering lieutenant. "You gave him the wrong vial!"

"Well what is it?" Kisuke hissed, striding to Ichigo's side as he writhed on the ground.

Another sniff and Mayuri froze. "Ah dear."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Mayuri stood as well as he watched Ichigo grind his teeth to keep back his screams. "This should be interesting."


	2. Chapter 2

Ichigo moaned, rolling to his side as he scrunched his eyes up. He hurt all over and his head was thrumming.

He wound his hand around his waist, wishing the pain would go away. Then he froze and his eyes slid open.

Staring at the wall of what was clearly Kisuke's shop, he continued to stay stiff, sure his heart was going to pound its way up his throat any minute.

He felt weird. Not emotionally 'weird' or sick or anything. No, he actually _felt _weird.

Swallowing audibly, he steeled himself before glancing down at his body.

XXX

A large screech had Kisuke running to the room Ichigo was staying in, throwing the door open and sliding to a halt, searching for Ichigo.

He saw him in the corner of the room, pinned against the wall, staring down at himself in horror before glancing up at Kisuke.

"What the he-" he stopped mid-squeak, grasping his throat.

Kisuke made a face, biting his lip in a mixture of apology and amusement, staring at the now clearly female Ichigo.

For that's what he was now. It turns out that Mayuri had only planned to knock Ichigo out and carry him away but Nemu had mixed up the vials. Now their greatest asset, their strongest member… was a woman.

Ichigo fingered his shoulder length bed-head hair, eyes wide as he took in his delicate hands, slim arms. He glanced down at the two lumps that sat where his chest was meant to be and immediately cast his eyes skyward, choking out a cry before his eyes snapped to Kisuke. He was on him in a moment, delicate fist tearing at his collar.

"What the hell happened Kisuke? No, forget that. _Change me back,_" he hissed out. Although the threat was a little strange coming from the soft featured Ichigo, the words held no less danger.

Kisuke held up his hands in protest, head leaning away from the furious one only inches away. "Look Ichigo, you're just going to have to calm down-"

Ichigo flipped the ash-blond over, hand on his throat as he glared down furiously, full caramel lips spitting poison. "Don't tell me to calm down! I'm a _woman!_"

"I know," Kisuke said gently, carefully prying away the small hands from his shoulder and throat. "And we're going to fix it but you have to give me a chance to explain."

Brown eyes stared down at him uncertainly before he scowled, straightening.

"Thank-you." Kisuke stood, dusting himself off as he stared at the foreign body in front of him.

It was Ichigo, clearly. His chocolate pools remained untouched by the transformation, his skin, his posture, the way he spoke and the way he hit. His scowl was a give-away as well.

Still, it was strange to see him in such a fragile looking body. He was slim and his hair hung around his thinner face, falling into his eyes. If Kisuke had to use any other woman as an example, it would be perhaps Yoruichi Shiōin, though Ichigo was a little taller and slightly bigger-_in all aspects. _Kisuke noted amused.

Ichigo seemed to notice this as well and stared, depressed at his body. He looked up Kisuke, slight desperation tinting his tone and expression. "Just change me back."

Although Kisuke wanted to give into that expression-indeed, he stared into Ichigo's eyes for another minute, considering his options-it just wasn't possible.

"_Mayuri, change him back!"_

_Mayuri tutted, lifting up a limp arm as he squatted by the newly transformed Ichigo. "It's not that simple Kisuke. I have only been developing the idea for the last few weeks and I have no antidote for it." He glared at Nemu who was fretting behind Kisuke. "If my _idiot _of a lieutenant could do her job, we wouldn't be in this mess."_

"_I don't care about that Mayuri, get. Him. Back."_

_Mayuri assessed the exiled soul reaper anew. "You're awfully eager Kisuke. How very interesting."_

_Kisuke turned his icy stare to the captain, eyes glinting dangerously. "It's interesting, is it?"_

_Humming slightly, Mayuri turned once again to Ichigo, shifting the face so he could look at it properly. "It seems it's changed most of his skeletal structure. In theory, this is what your precious substitute would look like if he were born a girl. Rather pretty for a human."_

_Gathering the smaller body in his arms, Kisuke turned, making Ichigo out of reach for the dangerously interested researcher. "You're not experimenting on him. Get the antidote and change him back."_

"_Well it could take weeks, months even… It would be easier if I had the boy."_

"_No, you developed this, surely you can undo it without him. Or are you telling me you can't?"_

_Mayuri huffed, rising himself up to his full height, pointing a painted finger at Kisuke. "I didn't say anything of the sort. I said it would be _easier. Easier. _Not that I couldn't do it."_

"_Well then," Kisuke stated flatly. "You best get on with it."_

Kisuke scratched his chin, watching Ichigo turn around in circles, staring at his legs and arms. "We best get you back home."

Ichigo's eyes shot to his and he shook his head, grabbing onto the older man's arm. "No!" he cried. "No way am I going home like this. Can you imagine what would happen?" His hands went to his head and his eyes went wide as he imagined the scenarios that would follow him revealing he was a girl.

Then he groaned aloud, eyes closing in anguish. "My God… imagine Renji! He's visiting me today with Rukia!"

Kisuke considered, fluttering his fan in front of his face as he continued to stare at Ichigo inconspicuously. "Well, what do you want to do? Stay at Sado's house? Or Orihime's maybe…"

Ichigo shook his head violently. "No, no way in hell." He shuddered imagining a different scenario. "You saw Orihime with Yoruichi… imagine how much fun she'll have with me!"

Kisuke smirked, waiting for Ichigo to decide what he wanted to do.

"Can… can I stay here?"

Almost choking on his own breath, Kisuke coughed loudly, taking huge breaths of air to calm himself as he stared at the anxious Ichigo. "W-what? Stay here?"

Ichigo nodded, rubbing his arm absently. "If I stay with you, I can just tell everyone I was on holiday or off killing hollows or something."

"Ichigo," Kisuke began, trying desperately to think of something to get him away. He could barely handle seeing the boy in normal, everyday settings without jumping him or being a complete idiot and giving away his feelings let alone spending a few weeks with him… in his house… alone… He shivered minutely, hoping Ichigo didn't notice as he flicked open his fan, cooling down his burning face. "Your friends come here almost every day to train and Rukia visits to get supplies and Renji… well he just freeloads here. They'll see you one way or the other."

Ichigo moaned, sitting in a huff on the bed. "What do I do?"

Kisuke sat beside him timidly, hand ghosting over his shoulder before he pulled back and sighed. "Ichigo, just go home. Tell your dad and your friends what happened and just… stay home for a while. If people ask… tell them you're a cousin or something."

He ruffled the long hair, cursing when his hands got tangled. "Shit."

Kisuke frowned sympathetically. "There isn't much we can do until you Mayuri changes you back."

Ichigo swore, scowling deeply. "Shit. Shit!" Laying down he cussed as his newly acquired breasts wobbled slightly and he immediately sat back up, hugging himself to keep them still. "What the hell?" He rocked in irritation. "These feel so weird. I don't know how girls deal with them."

Kisuke chuckled, smirking at the boy as he unfastened his arms, trying not to touch the breasts, a hot blush creeping across his face. "It isn't dirty touching _yourself _Ichigo."

Ichigo glared at him, keeping his arms pinned to his side. "I don't know why you can't let me stay. It would be easier for both of us."

_For you maybe. You staying would be one of the hardest things to deal with, _Kisuke thought wryly. That was even truer when Ichigo was as vulnerable as he was now.

A sudden punch surprised Kisuke, flooring him and he stared up at Ichigo as he sat above him.

"This is all your fault," he told him sullenly.

Kisuke didn't reply, eyes still wide in surprise. It was also partly because Ichigo was now straddling him, pouting at him, hands on either side of the hatless head.

"Well?" Ichigo prodded impatiently, coffee depths flashing angrily. "Why the hell did you let that freak come over and ask me questions anyway?"

Kisuke frowned slightly, feeling naked without his hat to hide him and also slightly nervous. Ichigo could _really _see him now. "W-well," he stuttered out a little before calming himself and starting again. "I thought he was only going to ask questions. I also thought that if I was there, he wouldn't try anything."

"Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well."

Gritting his teeth, Kisuke looked at Ichigo, his mind crying out, _stop moving! _"Ichigo, if you'd be so kind as to get off of me…?"

Ichigo froze, a little confused, sitting up as he considered and rolled back directly onto Kisuke's semi-hard on. There was a moment of silence before Ichigo blushed deep red, all the way down to his toes, leaping off of an equally embarrassed Kisuke in seconds. "Perverted bastard!" he cried.

Gathering his hat quickly, Kisuke bowed his head, searching for any flimsy excuse he could conjure up. "Ichigo, you do realise you're a girl now… right?"

Ichigo, still furiously red backed away, stuttering, "W-well yeah. But that's no excuse! I'm in here you bastard."

Kisuke blushed again, glad to be hidden behind his fan as heat soared through him. Yes, he was very much aware that it had been Ichigo sitting on top of him. "Well, I can't help it if my body was a little confused," Kisuke continued behind a weak mask of calm.

Hesitation flashed across Ichigo's face and he looked Kisuke up and down, frowning a little. "I-I guess… but…" He shrugged a shoulder, fingers twining together as he blushed again. "But I mean…" Cursing softly he looked away. "Forget it."

Kisuke for one, was very happy to do exactly that and stepped away from Ichigo. "Okay then. I'll let you get ready. You can shower if you want. I have some clothes you could borrow as well, but I'm not sure how well they'd fit you now."

Ichigo nodded, hoisting his own pants up as he said that. Ichigo normally wore quite tight fitting clothes (much to the distress of the exiled soul reaper) and therefore, his own clothes weren't too big for him, but they were big enough, slipping down his now rounded hips. "T-thanks Kisuke."

His heart gave a small tug at the soft tone Ichigo had used, finding it completely endearing that he was avoiding his gaze, shuffling uncomfortably. He gave a small sigh before he plastered on a grin, singing brightly, "Think nothing of it Ichi!"

A pillow followed Kisuke out the door and he laughed to himself as Ichigo's curses echoed through the store.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please, please, please, PLEASE! *Whispers while in corner* Forgive me… **

**I am so sorry for the gap guys! I've been dealing with this bitch of a cold and uni and crazy stuff -.- I'm very sorry. **

**I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint :) Anyway, have fun and please tell me what you think! **

**Oh, and I really appreciate the reviews guys! It means a lot to me :') **

**Uh… I think that's it. Ah, yeah… please tell me who think is cute with Ichi and who isn't and what you like about certain relationships and what not 'cause I'd love to hear it! I swear more people will be introduced soon -.-**

**Have fun, again… and thank-you! ^.^**

XXX

Hesitating, Ichigo's hands ghosted over the hem of his shirt. If he showered, he'd be required to _touch _the body. He wasn't worried particularly about being turned on or anything, he was gay after all, and he'd known it for a long while… but it was still awkward and a little embarrassing.

Finally he took a breath and closed his eyes, tugging the shirt over his head and quickly hooking his thumb into the belt loops of his pants and jerking them down with his underwear. Stepping out of his clothes, he exhaled sharply. So far, so good.

Keeping his head high, he parted one lid, hand reaching for the shower door when a knock sounded, hard on the bathroom door. In surprise, he jolted, the foot that was up a little in anticipation of a step, coming down quickly and slipping, sliding him straight into the shower door.

"FUCK!"

Kisuke winced, hand slowly leaving the doorhandle. "Sorry!" he called out meekly.

"Shit," came another mutter before Ichigo pulled open the door.

Frozen somewhere between horror and amusement, Kisuke wasn't quite sure to look. Ichigo had a towel gathered up-in the right spot thank-goodness-but it left a LOT of silky, caramel skin exposed. The amusing part was Ichigo's face-he was both irritated and embarrassed, his face red but his brows lowered and his lips twitching into a scowl, a red mark pulsing angrily on his forehead.

"What the hell do you want?" Ichigo snapped out.

Kisuke coughed lightly, fluttering his fan. "Sorry, I just wanted to hand you some clothes…"

Ichigo bit his lip, glancing down at the casual clothes-light grey jeans, a navy blue tee-shirt, black zip up hoodie and a pair of boxes. "Uh… do you have a belt?" Ichigo asked, practically chewing his lip now.

Kisuke nodded, handing him the clothes first. "Yeah, I do. I'll have to uh… search for a little while though. I don't often wear that sort of thing so it's hard to find them."

Ichigo smiled, perhaps the first _real _smile he had expressed since becoming female. "I can imagine." He paused for a moment before asking, "Are you sure it's okay that I borrow these? I mean, I don't want to…" Red crept up along his cheeks as he stared down at the clothes. "I don't want to _stretch _them in uh… funny places."

Kisuke smirked behind his fan. "Ichigo, it's fine. You're rather small anyway. But I don't have a bra hanging around so I can't really help you in that department. Although… Yoruichi may have something you can borrow."

Ichigo winced. "I don't think Yoruichi is the person to go to concerning clothes."

The blond cocked his head, a little confused by the statement. "Why? Don't you like her style?" he teased.

Scowling Ichigo straightened. "It isn't that, it's just that uh… I don't think she _wears _them."

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

"H-how would you know?" Kisuke asked in what he hoped was a teasing voice while hating that his heart tugged harshly in disappointment.

Ichigo's eyes went wide before he growled, kicking Kisuke in the shins. "Perverted bastard! It's because when she showed me her true form, she didn't wear clothes till I pestered her about it." His face was bright red; even the tips of his ears were glowing. "I just don't think she wears clothes all that often, that's all."

Trying to keep the smile off his face, Kisuke nodded. "Ah, yes. Well… that's certainly true. Uh, anyway…" He flashed a smile at Ichigo as he began to back away. "Have fun in your shower, I'll just find you a belt."

XXX

Kisuke looked up from his tea, his heart thudding up into his throat when Ichigo paused at the doorway. There was something so very exciting and gratifying about having Ichigo in his clothes, his hair wet, standing shyly in the doorway… So many fantasies came to mind.

"Well, I'm glad to see that fit relatively well," Kisuke commented mildly after composing himself, sipping his tea.

Ichigo frowned. "These fit 'relatively well'? Are you kidding me?" He pulled on the shirt that hung loose on his frame. "I didn't realise you were this built."

Kisuke smirked, secretly pleased that Ichigo was impressed. "It could be because you're used to having clothes that fit you like a second skin."

Narrowing his eyes, Ichigo approached, stopping just in front of Kisuke before he dropped his eyes to the floor. "Tha-thanks for helping me out Kisuke."

Keeping the smile that threatened to push its way onto his face bottled up, he nodded. "No problem Ichigo."

Ichigo scratched his neck. "Uh, well… I should go. I better explain what's going on to dad and that before Rukia and Renji get there."

"Yes, that's true. But do you have a name sorted out? Also, what about your spiritual pressure? It'll be pretty easy to tell it's you…"

Blinking, Ichigo paused. "Uh… no. I didn't think about that."

"You should probably get on that before you get to your house."

"But you know how much I suck at controlling my spiritual pressure," he muttered.

"You're much better now. You'll just have to keep a tight grip on your emotions."

Ichigo frowned a little, shifting uncomfortably. "Huh… Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks again Kisuke. See you."

Kisuke watched him sprint off, smirking to himself when Ichigo tripped, his shoes too big for him before he stood. Ichigo was going to have fun explaining the situation to his dad.

XXX

Ichigo paused at his door. If he just walked in, it would look bad… He knocked, waiting impatiently for someone to answer the door.

Karin answered, frowning as she looked him up and down. "Uh… hi. Who are you?"

Ichigo smiled back weakly. His dad was never going to let him forget this. Ever. "I'm Satsuki Ichinose. I was just wondering if Ichigo was home?"

Ichigo hoped he had delivered his practiced sentence alright. The name 'Satsuki Ichinose' had come to him as he walked home. The name had come from two of his favourite manga characters and he was sure they were girly enough. (He would never tell you what manga they were from though!)

He shifted as he waited for Karin's reply. He had figured if he asked for Ichigo, his family would let him inside to wait. And because it was _Ichigo _that knew her, no-one would wonder why they hadn't met her.

Karin pursed her lips in thought before shaking her head. "No, he's not home just yet but did you want to wait inside?"

Ichigo grinned, nodding. "Thanks."

He stopped himself before he waltzed in. If he looked like he knew the place…

Karin smiled politely. "Did you want something to drink?"

"Uh no… thank-you. I was just wondering where the toilet is."

"Just up the stairs and down the hall," Karin replied.

Ichigo smiled, walking towards the stairs before ducking into the clinic door. "Dad?" he called hesitantly. "Dad?"

"Is that you Karin?"

_Shit… I forgot I'd sound different. _"Uh… no. Dad, where are you?"

"In my office Yuzu," he replied.

Ichigo approached his door, standing by the entrance hesitantly. "Uh… dad?"

His dad turned, brown eyes blinking lazily before he gaped. "Y-Yuzu?"

"Dad!" Ichigo snapped, kicking him in the gut. "Don't be stupid! It's me, Ichigo."

Isshin blinked again, running a hand through his spiky, dark brown hair as he struggled to stand. "Ichigo?"

Ichigo sighed. "Dad, Kurotsuchi changed me into a girl." He clenched his fist, feeling a vein pulse angrily. "That stupid bastard gave me something and now I'm stuck like this!"

Isshin blinked fake tears out of his eye and smiled sweetly, his arms out. "Oh my little baby turned out to be a beautiful girl!"

"Dad!" he cried, pushing the heel of his hand into his chin to keep Isshin away. "Just shut up for a minute!"

"But you look so nice!" He laughed as Ichigo gave in, his arms forming a choke hold around his head. "If only your mum could see you now!"

"Dad!" he growled out, punching the man in the stomach and watching without remorse as he slid to the ground, grin still in place. "Shit. Just help me."

Sobering, Isshin placed down the papers he had in his hand, sitting patiently. "What are you going to do about this?"

"I was hoping that I could stay here, pretending to be someone else for a while."

"What about you? I mean, what are you going to say when people ask where _Ichigo _is?"

Ichigo frowned. "I don't know. I was just sort of hoping to say I was out fighting hollows… but who knows how long it'll take Kurotsuchi to turn me back."

Isshin frowned as well. "Don't you want to tell your friends?"

Groaning, Ichigo ran a hand through his hair before quickly pulling away. It was strange to touch the longer tresses. "Are you kidding me? It's bad enough I have to tell _you._"

Nodding slowly, Isshin shifted on his office chair, staring off in thought. "Yeah, I think that'll be fine. I'll just say that you're staying because you have nowhere else to go or something. But what about your sisters? They're already worried about you because you didn't come home last night."

Ichigo grimaced. "I know. But I can't really do much. I mean, it's only going to be a little while anyway."

Isshin nodded again. "If you're sure. I'll explain to the girls. Anyway, shouldn't you be going? Aren't Rukia and Renji going to be here soon?"

Ichigo's eyes widened. "Shit! I completely forgot!"

Smirking, his dad turned back to his work. "Have fun explaining who you are to _them._"


	4. Chapter 4

Ichigo hiked up to his room, trying hard just to keep his spiritual pressure under wraps-which was hard when you had so much.

Closing his bedroom door, he slid down to the floor, just happy to be safe in his room once again. Then he saw the ball on the ground, red seeping from it.

"Kisuke!" he cried out, crawling over to his wardrobe. The writing was still there, his annoying flamboyant message screaming at him and he felt every vein pulse. "I'm going to _kill _that rat bastard!"

"Ah… Miss Ichinose? Are you okay?"

Ichigo froze in his awkward up-down position on the floor. So his dad had explained the situation then… "N-no I'm fine. I was just uh… I just… tripped," he finished lamely.

Yuzu paused at the doorway. "If you're sure… please tell me if you need anything Miss Ichinose. Dinner will be ready at around four or five."

"Thanks Yuzu," he replied, standing fully. Then he froze again, realising that he was never properly introduced to her. He held his breath, waiting for his sister to rip open the door and cry, "Haha! I know who you are now!" But it never came. She had already left.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he opened up his cupboard, content to find that Rukia wasn't reading there or anything. But where the hell was Kon? He would need to explain the situation to _him _at least. Or… he could just pretend he didn't see him. Then at least Kon wouldn't bother him.

But what if he wanted to fight hollows? And talking about that, would he look like a woman even when he fought hollows? Because in that case, _everyone _would know how he looked soon enough.

"Ichigo, I think you're going to need a new light."

Ichigo almost jumped through his roof at the husky sound of Renji's voice and he whirled around to find the scarlet haired soul reaper lowering himself through his ceiling light, dusting himself off calmly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ichigo demanded, forgetting momentarily he was meant to be someone else. "You can't just go crawling around in people's rooves!"

"Renji, you should just use the front door like a normal-" Rukia stopped her scolding mid-sentence as she threw the door open, blinking in surprise as she stared at Ichigo. "Person…"

Ichigo shifted awkwardly as the both of them started at him and he rubbed his arm absently. Thank-goodness for him that the pair of them were in their gigai forms. It would be awkward to explain how he knew about soul reapers.

Renji blinked in confusion, staring him up and down before gaping Rukia's way.

Rukia had a similar reaction before her violet eyes narrowed. "Sorry but… who are you?"

Ichigo had the urge to punch Renji and his dumb expression but he managed to get himself together, scowling at the both of them instead. "I'm Satsuki Ichinose, Ichigo's friend."

Renji scratched the side of his face, still looking confused. "Uh… sorry, didn't mean to barge in or anything it's just that…"

"We were expecting _Ichigo _to be here," Rukia finished.

"Well he isn't," he replied, crossing his arms to stare at them, cursing inwardly when he squished his breasts together.

Rukia frowned and glanced at Renji. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Sorry, I don't." Ichigo wished they'd go away already. Controlling his spiritual pressure was hard and Renji seemed to make him angry just by looking at him so keeping his emotions under wraps was hard.

"You… uh… how do you know Ichigo again?" Rukia asked.

Shit… he hadn't thought of that. "Ah… I… I used to go to dojo with him," he replied, thinking furiously about what exactly his lie entailed. Tatsuki would know he wasn't from the dojo. But he could always just tell her she had a bad memory.

Renji's eyes narrowed and he lifted his black bandana slightly as he scratched his head. "Oh well… sorry for just dropping in."

They glanced at each other and Ichigo had the sudden urge to keep them there. In reality, he hadn't seen his friends for quite some time and he missed them-though he'd be dead before he'd admit it. But he wanted to sit down with them and hear what was happening, how they were…

"What did you need Ichigo for?" he asked hesitantly.

Rukia froze before smiling a little. "We were just going to catch up. Though we were hoping he'd come with us to visit… my brother. There's something that he needs to know but… I guess it'll have to wait."

"Wait… did you want me to give him a message?"

Rukia shook her head as she flattened out the creases in her white and blue dress, a hand reaching up to push a strand of hair behind her ear before she bowed. "Thank-you for all your help Miss Ichinose, but we won't need you to give him a message."

Renji bowed as well, before following Rukia out of the room.

"Damn, I was really hoping to see Ichigo today as well," he muttered to her.

Ichigo frowned as he watched them leave. He wanted to see them just as badly… but he could just imagine…

"_I-Ichigo?" Renji would ask hesitantly._

"_Y-yeah," he'd reply, nervously._

_Then Renji and Rukia would glance at each other, grins twitching before they would open their mouths and laugh. Not a little chuckle, not a whole hearted laugh of family togetherness… no. A teasing laugh. A mocking laugh._

_Their eyes would twinkle, minds overflowing with thoughts of the various torture that they could now deliver to their female form bound friend. _

He shuddered.

_Then they would take several deep breaths because they would have run out of air from laughing so hard, only to continued laughing. Rukia would slap Renji on the arm and Renji would hug his stomach, slapping his knee as he blinked back tears. _

_Then Rukia would smile at him and give a snide remark like, "Oh, so nice to meet you Miss Kurosaki."_

Visibly shaking, Ichigo shook his head. Those sorts of thought would get him nowhere. His head was up in a moment when he heard a hollow screech.

"Shit!" He scrambled around searching for anything that could help him get into his soul form. Kon was sure to be running around somewhere and that left only his substitute soul reaper badge or… Rukia.

He had no idea where he'd left his badge anyway so that only left Rukia… or Urahara!

Sprinting down the stairs, he almost tripped when he saw Renji and Rukia still in his house.

_Screw worrying about them, _Ichigo thought to himself as he scrambled out the door. Though if Rukia was right there… Surely she'd have soul candy on her.

He twirled around as they also exited the front door.

"Hit me," he demanded.

Rukia and Renji stopped dead, glancing around in concern. The hollow was rather close and if they weren't quick, it would undoubtedly eat someone's soul before they reached it.

"I'm sorry Miss Ichinose but we've got to go."

"Rukia," he growled, approaching her. "Hit me with that glove thing."

She blinked in surprise and Renji lowered himself into a defensive stance.

"Who they hell are you?"

Ichigo ran a hand along his face before holding out his hand. "Rukia just give me some soul candy or something. Before I get pissed."

Rukia dutifully handed it over. Not because she was scared, though his aura was fairly intimidating. It was because he had allowed his spiritual pressure to flare, making it clear to the both of them who he actually was.

Without answering the questions that were clearly reflected in his eyes, he swallowed a piece of soul candy. He felt that same strange sensation as his soul pulled away from his body, making him shudder a little as he finally stepped out.

Glancing down at himself, he cursed aloud. It seems he was still a woman, annoyingly enough.

Almost shrugging to himself, he pressed his toes into the ground before launching himself forward, flash stepping to the hollow, feeling Rukia and Renji also catching up.

"You could of told us, you big idiot," Rukia scolded him, head to head with him now.

Ichigo girt his teeth. "Oh come on, like I'd want too. If it wasn't for the hollow you'd both be laug-"

Renji also caught up, almost crying he was laughing so hard. "How the hell did _that _happen?"

Scowling viciously, Ichigo came to a stop above the tall, thin hollow. Long arms reached out for the small body of a young ghost, snake like tongue licking out as it growled in pleasure.

"Let's just focus on work, okay?"

Renji wiped away a tear as he unsheathed Zabimaru, launching himself at the hollow. "Sure thing princess."

Ichigo shook in anger as both Rukia and Renji laughed, descending on the hollow. "I'm going to _kill you! _Both of you!" he cried as he joined them, spiritual pressure flaring to obscene heights as embarrassment and irritation flowed. "You pair of yellow bellied bastards!"

XXX

Ichigo growled, shooting a glare at Renji who was currently engaged in poking Ichigo's side, marvelling at the soft curves. Rukia on the other hand was running her small hands through his hair, talking about all the things they could do as _girl _best-friends that they couldn't have done before.

"You better not bloody tell anyone," he threatened, glaring holes into the Renji's head.

"We wouldn't dream of it!" Rukia exclaimed dramatically, clasping Ichigo's shoulders reassuringly.

Ichigo stared at her uncertainly.

Smiling in reply, she leaned down a little. "We should go shopping."

Renji laughed so hard, Ichigo was convinced he'd choke… maybe that was just wishful thinking.

"I'm not going shopping," Ichigo snapped, huffing as they continued to use him like a doll. "I'll just wear _my _clothes."

"And have people ask weird questions? No way! It would be best to go shopping and get some clothes that actually fit you. A bra would be a good start."

Renji grinned lecherously.

"Ah fuck my life," Ichigo moaned, rubbing his eyes wearily.

"If it's a problem," Rukia began innocently, one finger poised above her lips in thought before she grinned evilly. "You could always get Ishida to _make _your clothes."

Ichigo's mind immediately filled with images of the altered clothes Chad, Rukia and Orihime were given after they rescued Rukia-in particular, the cute little additions he made to Orihime's clothes. On top of that, he remembered when he brought Kon to him… the powered wig, the full skirt and frilly bodice… it made him cringe just thinking about it. There was _no _way he was trusting Uryū with his outfits.

"You think I do pink and frilly?" Ichigo demanded.

Rukia smirked. "It'll go with your beautiful hair."

Renji clapped his back, grinning in what was, Ichigo was sure, meant to be a reassuring smile. Instead, it ended up looking like poorly hidden amusement. "Don't worry Ichi, I think you make a hot woman."

Ichigo flushed slightly, bristling. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Enough chit chat!" Rukia exclaimed. "We're going shopping and that's that!"


End file.
